Tag Archives: empathy

IDS Resigns

19 Mar


I can’t help being pleased that IDS is resigning, his reforms to welfare have been brutal to the wrong people. Those who are disabled, vulnerable and who are unable to work.
These people are now thought of by many as scroungers who have chosen a lifestyle at others expense. The constant drip that spurious claims are costing all tax payers has seeped into the public consciousness deftly distracting attention from the real frauds and shirkers: those who avoid tax and others whose expense claiming sense of entitlement leech money from tax payers at every level.
I am glad he’s going, did I mention that already?
Not for one nanosecond do I believe that his conscience has been pricked by the budget led demand for more cuts to Independent Living Allowance. If this was the case he would have been vocally challenging HIS government for longer. I know how he disregards the vulnerable in his own constituency. I have counselled people who have been to see him to lay out their difficulties exacerbated by his reforms. Not one mentioned his empathy and compassion or subsequent help.
What worries me now is the stark truth that he was only one man doing his government’s bidding. There are many more within the government who can and will step in and take up the reigns with enthusiasm. Is this a case of better the devil you know? What IS going to happen next? I can only see more devastation. After all the Tories are the party of the people, those who are vulnerable clearly don’t meet that criteria
Namaste Jules

Related post Honour

What I find attractive in a man…

15 Jan

Wolf eyes

I saw a post a few days ago via @vprc888 which was supposed to list 10 things men do that they are unaware of that women find sexy.  I found that none appealed to me.  I decided to think about what I find attractive.  Purely self indulgent but here is my list!

1. Integrity:  I find it absolutely imperative that a man says and does what he has stated he will do in both public and private.

2. Intelligence and Wit:  To me nothing is more appealing than a man who knows *stuff* but plays with his knowledge in a mischievous way.

3. Empathy:  Someone who is capable of trying to understand as best as he can how someone else feels.

4. Active Listening:  Not all people can make the person who is speaking with them feel as if they are the focus of their attention.  I find observing this skill being used for another more beautiful than if I am the one speaking and being listened to.

5. Willingness to be wrong:  How easy to be in the company of a man who will take the time to think about his actions and words…roll them around in his mind, if he finds he has fallen short of his own standards, takes steps to redress or minimise any negative effect.  Again beautiful to observe from a distance and personally.

6.Enthusiasm:  that light of passionate belief in his eyes that makes his whole being resonate with the expectancy of the fruition of what he believes in.

7. Humility: Certainly not a doormat (that is not the Lupine way!) yet aware of the people around him in a sensitive way, cognisant of his own abilities.  Striving to improve them.

8. Eyes:  That both take in his whole surroundings and give an affirming reflection back to the person engaging with him.

9. Willingness to take a stand:  If he sees something is wrong, he is willing to stand up and be counted.  Even if this puts him in a vulnerable position himself.

10. Natural:  He may be any shape or size.  The other attributes are far more important than any external features.

This  has given me much pleasure to meditate upon.  What is important to you?

Jules 🙂

I don’t like the *C* word!

18 Sep


Compassion = (n) a feeling of distress or pity for the suffering or misfortune of another

Empathy = (n) the power of entering or understanding and imaginatively entering into another person’s feelings

Taken from Collins English Dictionary

I have been thinking a lot lately about the word compassion.  There is a quote, which I have used, that states compassion is the preserve of a strong person.  I agree to a point.   Compassion does have an emotional and practical effect on the person feeling it in terms of time and effort.  Personally I prefer to use the word empathy.  To me compassion feels like it comes from a preconceived ideology of personal superiority.  Perhaps I am picky?  Empathy, however, feels like being alongside a person on equal terms with no pretence of being superior. To me this is a better fit.

Philosophically speaking there is a pay off personally for both. A person gets to feel good about themselves and sometimes if their offer is spurned that can turn into a self righteous indignation.  I am not immune to this!

The reality is that when an act of empathy or kindness is done it has more value if it is done with little or no thought as to how well it can ever be repaid.  This seems to have been forgotten by so many people in our society particularly many in leadership positions.  This is a tragedy to me.  I am not so naïve that I discount the value and place of networking.  BUT if you are in leadership should not your primary concern be for the welfare and well being of those around you affected by circumstances and events that may or may not be under your direct control??

It makes me weep both internally and externally that this is not how our society functions and that the quality of kindness is misunderstood as an admission of weakness by others all too ready to leap in and assassinate another for they own self furtherance.  This seems so true of politics and politicians!

I am, as usual, digressing!  I believe in acts of random kindness however small or big.  I attach great value to people who demonstrate these qualities and attempt to do so myself.  I find it almost impossible to receive the same back unless I totally trust the person offering.  How difficult I am then as a person to deal with! I have tried hard to reconcile this and be more open.  After all how dare I deny someone the pleasure of assisting me? I have been so badly hurt by others during my life but I don’t shrink from offering my help with no strings.  How do I become more open and accepting of others who may wish to do the same?

I really don’t know the answers writing these musings is one way that I grapple with my thought process but any suggestions will be gratefully received and considered.

Meanwhile I will continue in my journey towards enlightenment  🙂

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