23 Feb


I have been thinking for a while now about superficiality on Social Media particularly but also in life… Today I read a blog by @SherlockMr on Praise, you can access this blog here http://mrsherlockblog.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/the-power-of-praise/

I believe that people are relational at their core, I also believe that in order to get the best from any relationship people need to feel accepted and affirmed.  To me from my teaching and parental background encouragement can cause the blossoming of skills, behaviours and confidence.  Removing encouragement or not giving it at all seem equivalent to abuse.  I have noted in my professional life that encouragement brings out qualities in people which add to their performance in a way that criticism and stress induced *fear of failure* cannot.

What has this to do with superficiality? Well some people are not very nice! They say things to another in a seemingly positive way yet their motives are self based.  They desire to get something from you that is not theirs to have; for instance recognition for the other’s hard work, kudos from the association or even sexual favours.  I see this as flattery with a very negative connotation.  This seems to happen in particular on SM when *bloggers* receive recognition…with another (who knows who they are  😉  ) the negative term *bloopie* has been made in my vocabulary.

It seems to me that anyone is susceptible, maybe you have seen it in action, maybe you have been drawn in by it’s honey, maybe you do it at some levels.  I may do it myself, I’m not certain.

This false encouragement can cause it’s focal object to loose sight of their goals, it may even be a voice in their ear telling them they have skills and abilities they do not possess causing them to stumble and fall or even worse be burned up and destroyed by its incidiousness.

True encouragement recognises gifts which are apparent yet dormant or not yet in full bloom.  True encouragement builds up the receiver in a healthy way, helping them on the path to fulfilment success and the reaching of the set goals.  Nothing wrong with that it is worthy and pure in nature.

Superficiality is caustic, it will harm the person who is being deceived and in the end it harms the nature of the person doing it! I sound like a miserable bitter person here but please know I have no single person in mind as I write just an open heart which gets wounded when I see this happening, whether I know the person or not.

Please be genuine with your encouragement and seek no recognition for it.  Please let love be your motivator, this adds to our world, adds to the person being nurtured and adds to the encouragement giver in wondrous ways.

Try to hone your discernment skills and be one of life’s blessings to others and not a curse.

Jules 🙂


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