The Mouse Roars for the first time

27 Jan

wolfinsheep

 

Part of what made me into me is this true story:

 

I was a quiet little mouse, an *always* child; always polite; always compliant always invisible.

In secondary school in those years things happened that shouldn’t.  One such event had already occurred which contributed to my mousiness.  That I will not touch on.  The English master was young and thought he was good looking, scrub that, he thought he was God in his room.  The school was tough with a diverse community from poor backgrounds.  You needed to be tougher to teach there or be a sadist cue Mr C.

Mr C had the well developed girls, who let him put his arms under theirs when he stood behind to mark their books, sat in front of his desk for mutual appreciation.  The rest of us; the difficult rowdy lads and the mice all sat around wherever with little attention except for L.

L was exceptionally clever, painfully shy, more of a mouse than I was and was bullied by most, including Mr C.  This day helped to change my life.

Mr C was in a show casing mood, he stood preening at the front of the class berating everyone in loose connection to a text, trying to show that people rarely did what they said they would do… He harangued and ridiculed L mercilessly and then produced a nail and a hammer from his desk drawer.

“Who here has got the balls to come and nail my hand to the board?” he asked, spit spraying from his mouth as he ranted and raved, challenging the toughest boys who cowered and then he walked to L and threw the hammer on the desk challenging her.  She burst into tears which delighted him as he carried on laughing and ridiculing on his way back to the front of the room to the smiles of his groupies.

Something snapped, a chair pushed back and a tiny voice spoke. “I will” it whispered.  He turned and laughed  “YOU? DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH!”

Legs shaking like they never had I picked up the hammer walked to the front and said “Yes, me”

In a flourishing gesture he rolled up his sleeve and placed his hand on the board, I picked up the nail and with all my mite hit it, he just managed to move his hand in time as the nail hit the board.  A look of shock came over his face, and he whispered this time, “You would, wouldn’t you?”

My voice was loud, clear and strong. “Yes, I will if you have the balls to put your hand back” I had never felt so certain of anything in my life before. I would, and I would relish it.  One small problem he wouldn’t put his hand back.  He was now quivering.  I turned to the class and spoke again.

“You see, people rarely have the balls to do what they say they will kids, remember that, but I WILL”

I threw the hammer back onto his desk in disgust and walked back to my seat in silent rejoicing strength.  The mouse had roared and would never be quiet again.

 

Thank you Mr C what a gift!

 

 

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3 Responses to “The Mouse Roars for the first time”

  1. Jason Preater February 1, 2013 at 7:32 pm #

    I really can’t understand why you haven’t got loads of like for this post. What a powerful story!

    • julieanneda February 1, 2013 at 9:00 pm #

      Thank you I’m not very good at this blog lark, didn’t think anyone would really be interested! I only blog when something triggers me so don’t expect regular postings! 🙂 you can find me on Twitter @julieanneda

  2. Jason Preater February 1, 2013 at 7:33 pm #

    And the image is excellent.

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